What I wish is that all children in our country would be named with a hyphenated name, from both of their parents. Then when they marry, the women keep their maternal name, and the men keep their paternal name, and then, they, too, hyphenate with a new combination. It is both equal and clear.
In this world I would have been Alegra Marcel Shrock-Bartzat. When I marry I would become Alegra Marcel Shrock-Loewenstien. Marshall would become Marshall Alan Loewenstein-Bartzat. Girl children would be Shrock-Loewenstein, and when the girls marry they would be Shrock-husdandslastname. The boys would be Loewenstein-Shrock, and when the boys marry they would be Loewenstein-Wifeslastname.
The arrangemnet could be different, but I like my way because it maintains both maternal and paternal lines very clearly and equally; even if arrangement changed it would have to be standardized to prevent confusion. Yes you could argue that the reversal is confusing (shrock-loewenstein AND loewenstein-shrock !?!?!), but if you were used to it, it simply would not be an issue.
FYI, in Costa Rica they all kids have hyphenated name, one name from each parent. The only thing is that only the paternal names are passed on, which is, of course, still problematic.
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It's a very fair system, but when I invite you, Marshall, and future babies to parties, how do I address you as a family?
Hi Alegra. Something like the Spanish name system sounds ideal, but I prefer the Icelandic naming system. Typically, there were no family names, and you possessed a patromym - i.e. Thorson (son of Thor) or Thordottir (daughter of Thor). Recent trends have included matronyms where one is the son or the daughter of a woman's name. It makes for an interesting family as father and mother have their own surnames and their kids have different ones.
Dang, somebody beat me to the Icelandic thing! I didn't know, however, that it is evolving to include matrilineal designations, too. That's cool.
I have often been a little peeved that whenever my friends who have married but kept their maiden names have kids, it's just assumed they'll take the dad's name. That leaves my female friends looking like they're unrelated to their own children--or anyone else in the nuclear family, for that matter.
I like your idea, Alegra!
Science Bird, when you introduce us and we are both there, you say either variation of the name, just so long as you point to each of us as you say our part of the name. And if only one of us si around, with or without kids, you use whoever's version is there to introduce all kids.
Yes, when mother keeps only her anem, kids should definitely be hyphenated. Or I have also heard of half the kids with the father's name, and half with the mother's. A most fair interpretation of this method would be girls get mom's name and boys get dad's name.
I have updated my opinion. I think the names should be standardized regarding the order they are in. This would make it easier for you, Sciencebird; there is only one name in my slight improvement.
So we will just let the men go first.
I would be Bartzat-Shrock, then would become Loewenstein-Shrock. Marshall would be Loewenstein-Momsname and would then become Loewenstein-Shrock.
Future girls would marry and become Husbandslastname-Shrock. Future boys would marry and become Loewenstein-Wifeslastname.
My system really is the best. It maintains one family unit with one name, and yet when children go on to create their own family units they are still linked to their original name and at least one parent. It is both matrilineal and patrilineal. It is really the only fair system. Everyone should start doing it.
I also like that the Icelanders are creating matrilineal lines. That idea is good, but might become confusing when a lot of people start using (how many son of mike's or daughter of jane's are there?)
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